Some people simply enjoy a significant amount of time to themselves. As long as it's done from a position of respect, it's a very healthy thing. A lot of times that allows you to enjoy your partner even more than if you spent all of your time together, so the space actually contributes to the relationship. Sometimes, happy circumstances call for a greater-than-usual amount of space. For example, a job opportunity that takes one partner abroad for a long time can be a fair reason to press pause on a relationship.
But usually, Comrie told us, it's life challenges that provide the rationale for a romantic break. You may be having a hard time with your job, you may be struggling with addiction or grief or financial difficulties. Comrie told us about a couple in which one person was just coming out with an addiction problem and the other was dealing with the loss of a family member. They were dealing with different things at that time and they knew they had to take a break in order to make it work.
That was an appropriate time to take a break. This may seem counterintuitive. Isn't part of the point of a romantic relationship that we support our partners in their times of need? Isn't "taking a break" in these cases just bailing out with the going gets tough? But, Comrie said, it depends on the circumstances. Only do it for the right reasons: Comrie says that taking a break works when you know you still want to be together, but are faced with temporary circumstances that are best faced apart.
It has to be a reason that taking a break might actually help you overcome. Don't take a break if you really want to break up. Don't take a break if you're facing problems that can't be solved or would be better solved together.
Communicate: It's not enough to know in your heart that you need some extra space and then say "Babe, I'm heading out. Sit tight, I'll call you six months. Set clear terms and stick to them: Most breaks don't mean complete isolation. Taking a break helps you clear your mind and be sure about what you need from this person or relationships, in general. It helps you prepare mentally for a heartbreak while keeping your hopes high for the good. However, if you get back together, the relationship becomes stronger as you both work on your flaws and make amends where needed.
Being on a break invites doubts in a relationship and can change your bond even after you get back. Needing a break is a sign of an unhealthy relationship and might weaken it for a long time, if not forever. It could be the best or the worst thing for your relationship, depending on how both of you take it and your equation with each other. The important thing is to set some ground rules and adhere to them at all costs while you are on a break.
Shop Read. Signup with us to unlock all features! Relationship Advice. You immediately connect with an awesome coach via text or over the phone in minutes.
Kate Ferguson Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. By Sarah Burke. By Kate Ferguson. By Amanda Chatel. By Averi Clements. By Lyndsie Robinson.
0コメント